GIRL TALK

So How Do You turn your relationshop into a Grrreat Romance?

The first thing you need, of course, is the simple desire to do it.  You have to want to bring Grrreat Romance into your relationship.

The second thing; Grrreat Romance requires you to respect the differences between you and your spouse.  And one of those differences is sex.

Guess what?  Sex probably doesn't mean the same to him as it does to you.  It's tough to generalize about something so profoundly personal.

Women enjoy sexual relations the most when their emotional needs are being met.  And men are much more open to the emotional side of a relationship when their physical needs are being met.

It's so hard to find time and energy to devote to your relationship.  But as Ellen Kreidman points out in her book, "Light HisFire," if you don't have an affair with your partner, someone else will!  That leads me to the final key to Grrreat Romance:  You have to put it on your schedule.

Just Do It!!  Show your lover that he's a priority in your life.  And that's how you turn a relationship into a really Grrreat Romance.

COUNTDOWN CALENDAR

Ingredients: 

• 1 calendar
• 3 or 4 romantic or fun events

Create a countdown calendar for your guy.  You can do this with a page from any large calendar, of course, or print a custom calendar with your computer.

Start by marking the "BIG EVENT" (special evening alone)  Dress up the date with big red exclamation points, arrows, hearts, whatever.

Between now and then, write down a few romantic or "couples" events, and include the countdown  -- the number of days until the Big One.

The countdown calendar is a big, month-long romantic tease for your lover.  It's fun, and a little funny, and every time he looks at it two things will happen.  He'll think of you, of course.  And he'll count down the days to your big secret event.

Planning and making time to spend with each other is extremely important in our relationships with our spouses.  Make the most of it and have a great time!

KISS OF THE WEEK - Happy Trail Kiss

Use stick on notes to make a trail through your house that leads to your lips. 

Put a lipstick print or lip symbol on each note with an arrow pointing to the next note.

You, of course, are at the end of the trail with a stick-on note over your lips that says:

"Lift for kiss"

IN THE MOOD

I recently came across an article written by Doreen Virtue:

"When I began surveying men about romance, I expected to read many answers that connected sex to love and romance.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that the men's answers were much more removed from the act of intercourse than I expected."

"Here's a list of the actions most often cited by men as turn-ons leading to a romantic mood, listed in order from most to least frequent:

1. Being with a woman who looks good or dresses seductively.
2. A home-cooked dinner
3. Non-sexual touching, such as hugging, massaging, or caressing.
4. Eye contact or a special way of looking at each other.
5. Low lights or candlelight.
6. Having a partner who makes a special effort to make a romantic evening.
7. Having a partner who is spontaneious or who surprises me.
8. Kissing
9. Soft music
10. Wine or champagne (sparkling cider works too :))
11. A woman who smells great
12. A quiet atmostphere

"All these turn-ons strike me as gentle, tender expressions of male and femal bonding.  A romantic setting is very important to a man -- he enjoys dimmed lights, soft music and a quiet atmosphere.  His romantic mood is aroused when his femal partner puts a special effort into making him feel like a king."

I was surprised that many of things in this list are the same things that I enjoy.  It shouldn't be hard to figure out how to keep the romance alive in marriage.

Just some food for thought.

Happy Romancing!

STAYING FAITHFUL

It seems as if each day brings breaking news of yet another male celebrity philanderer, and we have to admit it makes us a little nervous. Still, we're not buying the excuse that men aren't wired for monogamy, which is why we liked these man-devised tips that provide an even-handed approach as to why affairs happen — and how we can prevent them in our relationships. —Glo

1. Appreciation, Not Apathy
2. It's Never Just About the Sex
3. Have an Empathetic Ear
4. The Friendship Factor
5. Grow (Up) Together
6. No Subject Should Be Out-of-Bounds
7. Talk Is Good, but Action Can Be Better
8. Reimagine Masculinity
9. Do Not Fear Your Dark Sides
10. Absence Does Make the Heart Grow Fonder

This list comes from an article found in Women's Day.  The Article is called:  STAYING FAITHFUL 10 Way to Prevent an Affair.  The article was written by Brendan Tapley - May 19, 2010

http://glo.msn.com/relationships/staying-faithful-1533300.story?gt1=49006

BE FRIENDS FIRST

Several years ago I purchased the book:  Don't Sweat The Small Stuff in Love

I purchased it knowing that there would be some good advice as I had already read the book:  Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, It's all Small Stuff (a gift from mom).

I remember some of the reasons for the purchase.  One of the reasons had to do with the constant bickering between me and Victor and the constant irritation with one another.  This is not the way married couples should behave.

In the first chapter:  Mostly, Be Pals the authors share the following:

"When you are good friends first... everything seems to take care of itself.  Pals support one another.  They are patient and kind, and make allowances for each other's imperfections.  Friends are excellent communicators, and usually very good listeners.  While they can also be serious, when appropriate, pals also find it easy to have fun, and to laugh.  They stay connected, sharing in the good times and being there for each other during the diffcult times."

I immediately thought of mom and dad.  They have often shared with their children that their best friend is each other.  And they do spend time with one another and share in activities that they each enjoy.

I also remembered the "courtship" periods before the "honeymoon" and how we treated each other.  We were patient with one another; we shared willing with one another; we were kind toward one another.  At what point in our relationships do we forget to be friends first?  When did the bad habits of neglect; sarcasm; jealousy and impatience creep in and become acceptable?

I can't remember the moments in the past that almost created a rift between me and Victor, but I do remember the turning points and where my relatioship with him became important.  Almost losing Victor; the long days and sleepless nights while he was hospitalized gave me lots of opportunity to reflect and assess what I wanted most.  I wanted Victor and I wanted to live a happy life with him.  I wanted him to know that I love him and that I would do anything for him.

"...being really good friends is a gift, and a goal worth pursuing.  When you are good pals, you somehow find a way to meet in the middle, and to share  in each other's dreams without feeling like you're sacrificing a thing."