Saturday, March 5, 2011


In an episode of the popular situation comedy Home Improvement, the character of the wife and mother, portrayed by actress Patricia Richards, once said, "I don't approve of women who flaunt their sexuality to get what they want... I know,  because I do that at least three times da day!"

One way to honor the seductress in every woman is to acknowledge that she exists in us all and to reframe our idea of "flaunting what we have."  How about characterizing sensual expression as a form of communication that women can be quite good at and men are quite amenable to?

Consider this:  Beneath the modern exterior of civilized men and women we are beings ruled by primal urges, the collective unconscious, and the drives of our own subconscious minds.  Men are genetically programmed to want to procreate with as many femailes as humanly possible -- hence, the frequency of erections, the inability to stop thinking about sex, and the lifelong yearning for nubile twenty-one-year-olds -- and women are genetically engineered to allure the man so that he will bring his seed to her and then stick around to hunt for food, build shelter, and care for her and all their offspring.

In the heyday of feminism, housewifery and motherhood were considered a sublimation of female power; yet many women today understand it is a form of expressing female power -- albeit not the only form.  Most humanns are driven quite naturally by the urge to mate.  In nature's dance between the sexes, it is the female who sets the tone and pace and gives permission to continue the dance.  Throughout the animal and human kingdoms it is the female who carries the dance card, and it is the male who has to sign on or lose out.  In nature's scheme of things, the role of seduction quite naturally falls to the female.

Back in October I decided to do a little pampering.  I had my nails done; had my eye brows and lips waxed; and had my hair cut.  The purpose two-fold:  1)  to make me feel attractive; 2) to make me beautiful for my husband.

The results:  1) I felt really good about myself ; 2) I was excited to show Victor

When I arrived home I was excited about my new look and bounced into the house with a skip to my walk.  Victor took one look at me and didn't say a word.  He glared at me.  There was 30 minutes of silence and glaring.  I was crushed....

He eventually growled "Why did you cut your hair?"

I told him that it needed to be cut to restore it's health and that I liked it short.  It was really short.  It was actually shorter than I had intended.  I knew that it would grow back and I wasn't worried.  I just didn't expect Victor to react so negatively.

Since November, I have been working in Calabasas and I drive by a wig shop every day.  They sell wigs of all different kinds; as well as style hair pieces; and they also tie extensions.  Every day I would say to myself "I should go in there to see what they have."

Yesterday, I actually stopped and entered the shop.  They had hundreds of wigs; toupes; hair extensions; hair ponies; etc.  I asked the owner about their products and the prices.  After 20 minutes I left with newly styled long locks of hair and drove home excited.

I entered the front door and my children were stunned with my beautiful long hair and wondered what I had done.  Victor didn't say anything...

What the heck?!?!?!?!

I did this for him.  I know he loves long hair. 

I own two hair pieces.  One is a long pony tail hair piece and the other is a full head hair piece.  I love them both because I have three looks to flaunt: 1) the natural just above the shoulders hair style 2) the pulled back and full pony tail 3) the long straight layered framing hairdo.

I guess what Victor wants is the long; naturally wavy; slowly growing white hair :)

I will need to grow it and flaunt it :)