This is not for the faint of heart... :)
Friction sex is the rubbing together of body parts.
It can feel pleasurable. For many it is the predominant mode of sexual expression. Friction sex, however, lacks certain qualities: the sensual and the intimate.
Sensuality is the appreciation of all the sensory modes: flavor, fragrance, hue, texture, timbre, contour, and more. A sensuous lover is willing to take the time.
Intimacy is openness to our own feelings and to our spouse's feelings. It is honesty, vulnerability, and trust. There is willingness to listen and to communicate. While one need not necessarily be romantically in love, there is always respect.
In contrast to the repetitious nature of inter-course, sensuous sex flows. One moment ma be spontaneously playful, the next quietly reverent. There is lingering, allowing the next feeling and touch to unfold. In exploration, new joys are welcomed.
To be a sensuous lover, then, is to blend the sensual, the sexual and the intimate.