IF YOU'VE GOT IT FLAUNT IT

In an episode of the popular situation comedy Home Improvement, the character of the wife and mother, portrayed by actress Patricia Richards, once said, "I don't approve of women who flaunt their sexuality to get what they want... I know,  because I do that at least three times da day!"

One way to honor the seductress in every woman is to acknowledge that she exists in us all and to reframe our idea of "flaunting what we have."  How about characterizing sensual expression as a form of communication that women can be quite good at and men are quite amenable to?

Consider this:  Beneath the modern exterior of civilized men and women we are beings ruled by primal urges, the collective unconscious, and the drives of our own subconscious minds.  Men are genetically programmed to want to procreate with as many femailes as humanly possible -- hence, the frequency of erections, the inability to stop thinking about sex, and the lifelong yearning for nubile twenty-one-year-olds -- and women are genetically engineered to allure the man so that he will bring his seed to her and then stick around to hunt for food, build shelter, and care for her and all their offspring.

In the heyday of feminism, housewifery and motherhood were considered a sublimation of female power; yet many women today understand it is a form of expressing female power -- albeit not the only form.  Most humanns are driven quite naturally by the urge to mate.  In nature's dance between the sexes, it is the female who sets the tone and pace and gives permission to continue the dance.  Throughout the animal and human kingdoms it is the female who carries the dance card, and it is the male who has to sign on or lose out.  In nature's scheme of things, the role of seduction quite naturally falls to the female.

Back in October I decided to do a little pampering.  I had my nails done; had my eye brows and lips waxed; and had my hair cut.  The purpose two-fold:  1)  to make me feel attractive; 2) to make me beautiful for my husband.

The results:  1) I felt really good about myself ; 2) I was excited to show Victor

When I arrived home I was excited about my new look and bounced into the house with a skip to my walk.  Victor took one look at me and didn't say a word.  He glared at me.  There was 30 minutes of silence and glaring.  I was crushed....

He eventually growled "Why did you cut your hair?"

I told him that it needed to be cut to restore it's health and that I liked it short.  It was really short.  It was actually shorter than I had intended.  I knew that it would grow back and I wasn't worried.  I just didn't expect Victor to react so negatively.

Since November, I have been working in Calabasas and I drive by a wig shop every day.  They sell wigs of all different kinds; as well as style hair pieces; and they also tie extensions.  Every day I would say to myself "I should go in there to see what they have."

Yesterday, I actually stopped and entered the shop.  They had hundreds of wigs; toupes; hair extensions; hair ponies; etc.  I asked the owner about their products and the prices.  After 20 minutes I left with newly styled long locks of hair and drove home excited.

I entered the front door and my children were stunned with my beautiful long hair and wondered what I had done.  Victor didn't say anything...

What the heck?!?!?!?!

I did this for him.  I know he loves long hair. 

I own two hair pieces.  One is a long pony tail hair piece and the other is a full head hair piece.  I love them both because I have three looks to flaunt: 1) the natural just above the shoulders hair style 2) the pulled back and full pony tail 3) the long straight layered framing hairdo.

I guess what Victor wants is the long; naturally wavy; slowly growing white hair :)

I will need to grow it and flaunt it :)

THE SEDUCTRESS WITHIN

Since the dawn of time, women have been seducing men.  The prevalent spin on seductresses through history is that they seem to be... bad.  Oh, so bad!  The seductress is also usually a woman of power -- a power that relies heaveily on or is intensified by womanlly ways and wiles -- who knows her own mind and understands the naure of the male.  Because of this understanding, she often demonstrates the ability to control men subtly, and not so subtly, through her sexuality.

The the seductress has often been viewed through the ages as a fallen woman, it's time to reframe that view and recognize the naturalness and appropriateness of such a role falling to women.

There are thousands of cases in point -- in the Bible, history books, literature, the movies, and real life -- that confirm the following:  Most men want to be seduced, and women are the best seducers on the planet.

Throughout history men have been led to temptation, spun  into ecstasy by the notion of pleasing a woman and being rewarded with her love and affection.  For some men, temptation has led to a gloriously open heart and titillation of the loins, but for others it has led to self-destruction.  At the very least, a bold and skillful seductress has more than once been powerful enough to weave some very sticky political webs, initiate a war, or bring down a leader.  Samson and Delilah, Cleopatra and Caesar, and even Pocahontas and John Smith are love matches that involved a woman who in some way unraveled a man or controlled his destiny through seduction.  But seductresses, more often than not, take no prisoners; they merely know how to extend an invitation to a man in such a way that he surrenders to passion.

Many of the seductresses throughout history were quite creative and bold, and many of their ideas have modern applications.  For example:

• Cleopatra, Egyptian Queen of the Nile, used bold thatrics to get Julius Caesar's attention by having herself rolled naked in a rug and delivered to his chamber.  To get mark Antony, she sailed into Rome on a glitzy party ship with sails saturated by the sensual scent of Jasmine.  It was so rich and entertaining that he could not resist going after his best friend's former lover.  When it came to keeping a man under her spell, she was known for the use of aromatics and potions.  Cleopatra's fruity love elixir was said to stir the loins of the lowliest servants, who, after sipping the concoction, would pledge loyalty.
• Josephine kept her beloved conqueror, Napoleon Bonaparte, hooked during the French Empire by giving him something most modern women would fear is socially incorrect, not to mention unhygienic: her unbathed body, with all its natural scents.  Legend has it she would not bathe for a week before his return from battle because he adored her natural aromas.  She'd anoint herself with violets, mixing that aphrodisiacal scent with her natural pheromones.  When sending him off to war again, she'd make sure the scent of violets went with him so that he would go crazy for her while away from home.
• Mata Hari knew in war-torn France what women have known for centuries: dance is a way to express the erotic, and dancers have the ability to titillate the imagination and to tantalize men.  She captured the attentions of many, not just with beauty but also with charm and her ability to lure men by using her gift for entertaining the.  In her heyday, her stardom was an aphrodisiac few men could ignore.  The fact that she could be like an ice queen, removed and distant (just like the actress Greta Garbo, who portrayed her in the classic 1932 film Mata Hari) added to her allure.  Of course, Mata Hari was alleged to be a spy, and an appearance before a filing squad sealed her fate.  Yet she was a seductress extraordinaire who turned espionage into an art form, and knew how to enlist powerful men to help her cause.

The most important thing to remember in the game of seduction is that it's what between your ears, that's right, your ears, that's most important.  Your mind conjures the moods, sets the stage, learns the motions.  Your personality -- realy -- is what attracts men in and out of the bedroom.